Things that terrify me…
1. Publishing on the Internet
I don’t often feel old, but my fear of the internet is profound. It’s not that I regret what I might say, or what that search might find. I worry that 5, 10 years from now, that ridiculous blog post (this ridiculous blog post?) will come back to haunt me.
The funny thing is there’s nothing I did in college that I would be embarassed about. Isn’t that the big fear from us Gen Y folks? My fear is the permanence of my words, my inability to edit, the stream of consciousness that earns a permanent spot in the universe. Then again, I don’t think many people google me.
I think maybe this is a fear of someday being someone worth googling — the ultimate ego.
2. Networking events
I haven’t taken one of those personality tests in a while — maybe I should. Briggs-Meyers. I love to talk; sometimes the words just keep going and going…
Weird how I love the stage. Give me a lecture hall with hundreds of people in it. A new semester means new students, new lessons. I can run an indoor cycle class like a Boss! But put me a room full of people I’m actually supposed to interact with, that I’m supposed to connect with or need something from, and I’m gone.
I’ve tried all those methods, ideas, even a couple drinks, but nothing works. All of which would be fine, if I my job didn’t depend on it. I am jealous of no one so much as that person who can just walk up to a stranger or insert themselves into a conversation that doesn’t belong to them. I feel like Bridget Jones every time and wind up asking Salman Rushdie for directions to the toilet.
3. Haunted Houses
Finally, something a little more normal.
I do NOT do haunted houses. I know some people like that feeling of being “safely” scared. Some people think it’s funny. I think it’s positively awful! I don’t do haunted houses, scary movies, even the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.
I think more of us need to not be afraid to say we’re afraid.
